Haiii!!! welcome to my site :3 I initially got into this after seeing a video by Green Hoodie Cat and i got inspired to try making my own!
I am currently pursuing Bachelors degrees in Mathematics and Physics
Video Games!!! I love them and I love playing them with my friends! Some I have been playing recently are
I really want to do more right now, but I need to study for finals, ugh.
Founded 11/20/24
Hiya!!! today im going to go to a Friendsgiving :3 im bringing the drinks and cranberry sauce! I'm super excited, and honestly, i kind of want to try using RayLib to make a video game in C, it seems very cool.
OMG i absolutely killed those exams, and now time to get hiiiiiiiiiiigh af and play some VTOL VR. But first!!! I will work on this a little bit :3
| 1 | 2 | 3 |
|---|---|---|
| one is okay | two is great | three fucks |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! omg this has been the worst and best year of my life. The largest emotional rollercoaster in my life. First off! my friends are really cool and im so happy. I get to play 2 [!!!!!!!!!] Industria campaigns with them. Im glad Basil has been doing better, they've been playing a lot of VRChat and they've been talking to an absolute ton of new people and i think that is very cool of them. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, on the not good side of things, my mom took her own life, and I think i'm having a quarter life crisis??? That or I'm finally growing up. I feel lost, but I feel much more aware of myself then I ever have. I know what things I like, I know that I am lost, I know that is okay, I have like hopefully at least fifty more years of this beautiful experience we get to call conciousness. I believe I have also been spiritually awakened, and radicalized. If you haven't already, look into the depths of your own mind and contemplate what it means to be concious. In order to understand something, we must know what it does, what it is composed of, and where it is from. [ Or more!!! ] So i ask you this: What is conciousness? Why are we concious? You're probably thinking that, idk i dont want to put words into your mouth. But what I think! I believe that us experiencing the universe is not special to us at all. Why would we be special? I would thank Occam, because I believe that conciousness is an inherent property in everything in the universe. I believe that we experience conciousness as the system gains information. For instance, the smallest particles would only be able to transfer information between one another through fundamental forces. But as things get larger, emergent properties reveal themselves. A cell can use chemical reactions to learn what is nearby. An ant can detect different frequencies of light over a large area and see the world in many metrics at once. [ metrics as in information. You can see an image of objects projected onto the retina and thanks to having more than one eyeball, you can determine how far away the focal point is! ]. We as humans process a near uncountable amount of information in a fraction of a second. Our countless senses give unique information about the world around us, and act as the brige between our primary recursive processor, the brain. These neurons can be stimulated, all enternal stimuli come from our perception, however I believe the most facinating aspects of life is dreaming. We close our eyes, and our brain begins to ignore stimuli from the outside world. You'll barely even notice sound, you can hardly feel a blanket, even it's warmth fades into the abyss that is unconcious sleep. No stimuli whatsoever, no recursive loopings, only small processes like body regulation that we've done subconciously since birth. In the depths of the unconcious mind, a spark get ignited, the brain turns it's factories, but not at full capacity. You still ignore the stimuli of the outside world, but instead, your perceptive neurons begin to fire, triggered by inneumerable pathways of pretrained memory neurons. You dream. Information being shared, purely imaginary, yet we experience it. Vividly seeing images with no input from the eyes. Our perception is not felt in the organs, that is simply its kindergarden. The sensation reaches the brain and our cluster of neurons begin to debate, sharing information with one another and deciding on their next action via "What has worked in the past" really makes you think about how we share information amongst each other. Does conciousness go further? I believe it does. If we can experience the culmination of the neurons of our mind, can our collective society form a conciousness of it's own? Does this act like a crystal introduced to a subcritical fluid? Is the gaining of information the very act which collapses those stochastic quantized waves? Is the very act of asking the universe about itself bringing the universe into existence? Is this what people refer to as "The Soul"? I guess "immortality of the soul" would be that we are the universe, and thus never were born, and never died, as our energy has been around since the beginning. The Energy Never Dies - BEP. [ If there was a beginning. If there is a flow of time. Is the "flow of time" just the progression of the universe learning about itself? ] Upon death each miniscule part of our information going it's own way, no longer forming a recursive network able to permanantly transfer information [even if it leads to intentionally ignored redundencies]. Although, in this framework, if gaining entropy / information is equivalent to experience itself, then what does that make the heat death? when all the universe is a nebulous isotropic, isomorphic blob, when all that there is to know is known? I am glad to have come about simply for the chance to form new shortcuts in this recursive network that is my brain. I am so happy that i can experience this universe so strongly before it ends in a blob of knowns. I love learning new things, it's like another level of conciousness. A connection of information from the speaker to the listener, a connection transferring untold connections via our black box weighted neurons that created languages. [ This isn't just learning, but experiencing the universe in general. For instance, a conversation is concious, it's inputs: the speakers. ] With me asking if this is "The Soul", it really puts into my perspective how actual clergical devotees believe in something larger. I guess they kinda have it right? I mean, if you consider the universe itself God. Although, I think that actually does work.... [ everything in that book is just "what happens" why does it happen? idk, the fucking universe?" and yet people use it to spread dread and hatred instead of showing the empathy that is oneness with each other and the universe. We are all something larger. I guess if i reworded myself I could argue I were christian lmaooo, fuck that, fuck the church, some few beliefs on the universe are solid and chillin, however the institution has become corrupted, false idols lead the herd astray, towards the atrocities: Greed, wrath, pride. when they should have patience and empathy. Compassion for their fellow member in this universe. See, if they actually fucking read their book they would get it, but no, they go and do harm on others all to benefit themselves ] TLDR: I believe conciousness is an experience, and it exists in everything, and thus i am a panpsychist.
Anyways, i really want to actually make this place look nice, but i need to put in effor for that. And the motivation has been preeeety low lately. I don't even know what i want to do, i just want to experience living while i still can. Experience experiences you know? Motivation! yes! It's been low since mom passed, it feels so much more alone. That feels generic but i think i get it now. It's like I have no one rooting for me. I mean I have my friends, but like, idk i get worried about that, i feel like i don't know how to open up to people, STILL! how do people just open a pathway into the depths of their own brain and put it into language??? Research has been catching up with me, same with class. Been getting better lately, the bike has been great, i get out, i explore, i run through the god damn woods! I am having fun, im hanging out with friends, playing board games or laughing at whatever, or playing music, or watching tv, or playing mario party, or whatever! Im fucking living, and i couldn't be happier, I want to not sleep ever again because I dont want to waste any of the time i have here [ i love the universe so much, im so greatful i can experience it in it's period of change. If it ever does change. Is the heat death just conciousness having learned everything? if experience is the flow of time, i guess so... ]